If you’re anything like us here at RESURA, Valentine’s Day is the second most romantic day on the calendar next to the opening day of the 5 Star Grand Prix. It’s the time to spend it with someone you think is pretty alright and show them how much they mean to you.
But dating is hard, and impressing a prospective date is even harder. What if you aren’t naturally gifted with silky smooth charisma or stunning looks?
RESURA regulars Ryan and Trent have done the hard work for you by scientifically crafting these perfect romantic one-liners that are sure to speak right to the heart of your sweet beloved. Slide them a joshi Valentine’s card of their favorite wrestler and it’s sure to show them not only how much you love them, but also how cool you are. You’ll be their Dream Star in no time!
Let’s start things off big with our curated selection of STARDOM cards.
If your prospective partner likes a drink, there’s no better choice than a Maika cardAnd if they reject your advances, you can always pull from another part of Maki’s act, the middle finger!And if they don’t understand the genius level wordplay, she’s conveniently pointing to her name. It’s explaining the joke without having to actually explain it! What better way to represent a tag team who are named for being born in 2002 than by referencing a song from 1980…PATD or My Chemical Romance album not included with your declaration of love, but expected if you’re leading with this card. Yes, Saya Kamitani gets a special ‘Black Edition’ card. That’s for Tokyo Sports MVPs only.
Maybe the person of your dreams prefers to dance among the golden fields of Marigold instead? Don’t worry, we’ve got your covered!
I tried picking up girls by using the line ‘I think you’re Global Honored Crown’ but it didn’t test quite as well…Do you think GoChika would encourage prospective dates to take her to her parent’s izakaya without them knowing who it belongs to? Seems like it’d be a easy way to drum up some extra business…Imagine if you each gave one another a different tWin toWer card? That’s how you know you’re meant to be together.The Darkness Revolution logo highlights the ‘LOVE’ in its name (albeit backwards). How can they be bad when they spread the word of love?Is the person you love already in a committed relationship? That’s ok. You’re not breaking them up; you’re just poaching them!
Maybe they’re more interested in the fun and mayhem found in Tokyo Joshi Pro-Wrestling? Well, we wouldn’t leave you to try and woo them on your own don’t worry!
No better person for a Valentine’s card than the wrestler whose theme song keeps chanting L.O.V.E.Some Whirling Candy is a required snack with any subsequent date of course.Is her hair color out of date in this picture? Sure. But with it you can be out on a date…and nobody has time to keep up with her changing hair fashion.You’ll be sure to create some buzz with your honey with this card…I’m not sorry.Let’s hope Kim Jong Un doesn’t watch TJPW and get the idea to make a sequel to the ‘hit’ North Korean Kaiju movie Pulgasari using Shoko as the monster; they’ve kidnapped people to get the first movie made after all…(btw, the original is available to watch on YouTube and you totally should if just for the fact it’s a North Korean Kaiju movie…)Still waiting for Xavier Woods/Austin Creed to collab with them on UpUpDownDown. The link is right there in the name!
But they’re an independent spirit I hear you say, that’s why they’re (hopefully) single! Well, so are we!
If you’re rejected with this card you won’t be put in the friend zone, just the Best Bro zone.You could say this Gal has a Crush…If your prospective love seems a bit hesitant to immediately profess their love back to you, they’re probably just intimidated by the duo on this card. It’s not that they don’t have feelings for you…Senka gets all the love in the ring, so it’s only fair Sora gets the card.Maybe the perfect conversation starter card for the non-wrestling fan, as the receiver asks if there is a spelling mistake with the double u (no) if there are accidental capitalizations in the name (also no), or if you made a mistake giving them a wrestling-themed Valentine’s card (probably). Bam! The back and forth is flowing. It’s genius!If you use this card, I dare you to commit to the bit and actually mist the person. You do quite literally tell them after all…The Icon took our advice above to heart and even got a kiss out of it…
And finally, sometimes you need something truly unique and special to win someone over. I understand, I’m not the type to be swayed by just any old joshi Valentine’s card.
Peaches are in season during the summer, so this is the ideal southern hemisphere card. If you’re in the north, you might have to settle for pairing this with a peach-flavored drink.Doesn’t matter if you’re the dragon or the fairy in this situation.
So once you’ve found the perfect card for your beloved and won their heart thanks to RESURA, maybe name your first child after us. It sounds like a fair deal.
RESURA 